'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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