i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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