WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
