We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
im holly from the hills drunk
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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