I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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