Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
