this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
