She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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