I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
