I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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