i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
