u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
