My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize