is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
