Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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