did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize