Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
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Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
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SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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