Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
