In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Randomize