How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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