Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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