Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
