i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
