so that wasnt chicken after all
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
