Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
