I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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