why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize