why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Small penises have feelings too.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You have to summon your inner elephant
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize