I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
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He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
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Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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