I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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