We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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