Kareoke will never be a sober sport
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
