I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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