Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Randomize
