Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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