I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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