I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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