You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
