Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So many bounce houses so little time
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
