i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
PANTIES FOUND
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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