she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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