Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
