Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
