I want you more than these girls want KFC
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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