I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
