Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.