im gay
i know
yea but for you.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
two words...techno handjob
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Drake has all the answers
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
