NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
