Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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