i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
