Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
