nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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