Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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