I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
