He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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