Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
