I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
where are my eyebrows?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
