apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
