You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
