Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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