Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
